I Am No Spy, but I Do Have a Wig Obsession
My hair loss journey from alopecia victim to wig addict.
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With a growing wig collection that covers varying lengths and hair colors, I sometimes wonder if my neighbors think I am working for a secret agency rather than being an alopecia warrior. Saying I am a spy sounds more fun than being a woman with significant hair loss.
I walked through the fire, so to speak, of being a female with thinning hair. Depression? Absolutely. Anxiety? Yes, especially if someone stared at my thin hair for too long. Being called grandma of my own child? Oh yeah.
One day, I had enough of the misery and decided to take a courageous step forward the weekend before the pandemic shut everything down. I stumbled clumsily and awkwardly into a wig shop, and that ended up being one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life.
Through it all, I have risen from a victim to an alopecia warrior and came out publicly about my hair loss experience on social media to my friends and family. Make no mistake, I agonized for many months over making this decision. But this journey has taught me how to sit in the uncomfortable. Facing your fears is part of building your inner self. Some of my friends now get so excited when I post about wearing a new wig. I feel like a movie star compared to my old self.
If you are suffering from hair loss, consider taking these two steps forward to help you in your journey:
- Join hair loss support groups online.
Search hair loss support on Facebook to find these groups. These groups are so welcoming and filled with people who want to give advice and assistance. Both men and women are welcome, and many people are happy to share what has worked for them. For each person, it will be a different experience for some like wigs or toppers, and some prefer to go bald. Some members are cancer survivors and some have alopecia or other health conditions. These group members are filled with guidance on how to measure your head for a wig and find a wig within your budget. These people will help you find your crown, and some very special wig sisters are even working hard to make sure women out there can find a wig free of cost.
It was in these online support groups that I learned that hair loss in women is very common, more than 50% of women will experience noticeable hair loss in their lifetime. Many celebrities wear wigs or toppers to maintain their movie star image. Jennifer Lopez is very open about her experience wearing wigs and toppers. Wigs and other helper hair also take the center stage in this video:
2. Treat yourself to a comfortable and realistic wig or topper.
After weeks of online support, I was ready to walk into a wig shop by myself. I still remember the awkward experience of it all trying on what seemed to be huge hair helmets. More than 30 wigs later, I decided on one pixie cut lace-front wig that looked similar to my natural hair. I was so scared about purchasing a wig, but buying that wig and getting used to wearing it out changed everything for me.
After the initial shock of having a full head of hair, I went a little wig crazy. My one wig purchase quickly multiplied and I found myself with wigs of all lengths and colors. YouTube is your friend when it comes to wig styling and customizing. I have turned many cheap wigs into works of art after learning how to thin out and cut a wig. I also ruined a few wigs in the process, so tread carefully when cutting your own wig. Practice on a less expensive wig at first.
Amazon is a great place to buy cheaper wigs to get a feel for the color and style you like. Buying a wig is like buying shoes. You may have to go through a lot of wigs to get one or two that you like. Just be aware that many online retailers charge a significant restocking fee if you return the wig. Once you have your own wig collection, you may just love wigs more than shoes.
How My Wigs Have Changed Me:
I had missed out on many things for most of my adult life due to my low self-confidence. I still mourn about all the missed opportunities because I felt like I wasn’t good enough.
My wig sisters taught me otherwise. I remember posting transformed pictures of myself in my support groups, and members were so enthusiastic about my new look. My neighbors, friends, and family have also been very gracious to me through this whole experience. There are a few outliers, but I have learned how to mute them.
Now I have been through the full gambit of wearing wigs as well as shaving my head in front of my shocked husband. I wasn’t going to let hair loss define me anymore. My children often rub my head for good luck, and I wear my shaved head around the house like a trophy. Wigs though are still my obsession.
Buying a wig and facing my fears snapped me out of a cycle of anxiety and depression that I was trapped in for many years. I had fallen into black holes over figuring out the cause as well as possible solutions. My hair loss is still something that I think about once in a while but it no longer controls my life. Here is my pro-tip to you: you can do this too. All you have to do is believe in yourself. The rest will fall into place.
Wearing different wigs may have confused a few people at first, but it is my journey and my decision. Some of my wigs do have names and they change my personality. I mostly settle on an auburn shorter bob style that makes a good mom wig. For date nights, I go for my more Hollywood-type wigs. Being called a grandmother before wigs to feeling like a movie star is an alarming metamorphosis.
The first day I wore Greta, my blonde wig, into a grocery store I was carded for the first time in ten years. I remember feeling giddy and flabbergasted when I bought that beer. Wigs helped me feel alive again, and they helped me find my true self who was buried after many years of emotional turmoil.
My parting words for anyone going through hair loss:
You do not have to let your hair loss define you. You are not alone in this struggle. People are out there wanting to help guide you and to give you support. You have the power and ability to change yourself. Just know that there are options for you to help you move forward. Wigs are beautiful, bald is beautiful, and you are beautiful. My wish for you is that you find peace and know that you were worth it all along.
